I am an “Hikikomori” Asexual Japanese who just take the first step in the game industry by developing Yuri visual novel as an solo dev, some people I met online are interest in hearing more of my story as an Japanese amateur dev and private life of an LGBTQIA+ member in Japan so here I am!

2021.12.07 05:20 OccultLily I am an “Hikikomori” Asexual Japanese who just take the first step in the game industry by developing Yuri visual novel as an solo dev, some people I met online are interest in hearing more of my story as an Japanese amateur dev and private life of an LGBTQIA+ member in Japan so here I am!

I grew up in Japan and in an very strict traditional household, to be more specific is in the countryside(関東地方-Kanto). Ever since small I been surround by forest, mountain and farm field, “quiet and tranquility” is what I would describe it, maybe growing up here determined my personality, my parent always have high expectation like how I should behave in order not let them embarrassed and if I don’t meet that, they will punish me by hitting me or lock me in the room. Up to middle school as most of children in the town are leaving to Tokyo so do my parent, they force me to get to Tokyo- a thing in which I probably thanks them for now that I think back on it.
When I first arrive at Tokyo(六本木-Roppongi) I was in a world of hurt. Everthing and everyone always in a hurry and cold, your problem is yours alone and if you cannot resolve that by yourself you are a loser. Here I stay with my relative, they have an daughter one grade lower than me, we get along well for the first month but thing start to get ugly. Turn out my uncle was your typical サラリーマン-salaryman, meaning he drunk a lot and always hit up キャバレーcarabet club(gentlement club if you catch my drift) and always wasted when he came home, it was always an soap opera on the night that he drunk, mostly arguing with his wife(my aunt), some serious night they even start to fighting. At the new school I was always being make fun of as my name is in カタカナ-Katakana since my dad was an foreigner(In Japan the wife have to change their surname to match their husband after marriage and the baby name is up to the husband to decide), some are very mean and outright rude, on top of that I was always having problem with communication and trouble understand others people emotions so I was the punching bag for the bully until they bored, other students try their best to stay away from me, I have try to bring this matter to my homeroom teacher but most of them turn a blind eye and tell me 頑張って!(Try harder). Now while attending the school I hear disturbing rumor about my cousin, they said that she doesn’t interest in boy and it seem like they start harass her about that, I regret not being able to help her back then as I though it not a good idea to pry into other business- “小さな親切は大きなお世話です”( Mind your own business) and thing seem to escalated in the following years. It is also in this period that I learn how to become financially independent on my own as I cannot depend on my loser uncle or the money that my parent send me(tuition). The only thing they can provide me are meal and I have to take part-time job for other necessities. One night, just near the end of the middle school year when I come back home my uncle was asleep on the table while I saw my cousin crying, her dress was all mess up, I was so terrified at the scene that I head back to my room without asking anything. Later that day when my aunt come home they have an big arguments, I try to cover my ears but can still hear it. It was about my cousin gender, they been trying to pin the blame as to why their daughter doesn’t 普通 (normal) like other girls at her age. The next day they call my parent and say that I was the one to blame for everything and that I should leave once I graduate middle school. A shit show that’s it but I think I have enough staying in this madhouse, what awesome is that I actually found out that shit of an uncle took most of the money that my parent sent me, when I finish prepare going to a new place for high school I hit him the hardest I can. Dude wasn’t anticipated that so he fall heavily.
I admit that I am sort of an xenocentrism, I start to study English as soon as I have access to internet as I can see many possibilities for it in near future and Japanese literature are not appealing to me(must be because I have to excessively study it for exams). I don’t remember much in high school as I just crammed through it(most Japanese actually) but there is one particular girls who are nice and frequently strike up random conversation with me despite I’m kinda rude to her, she have no problem admitting that she not interest in relationship at all(she even post this on social media). All the boys in the school head over heels for her and I can see this cause her a lot of trouble. I don’t really try to reach out to her but there is a long period in which I haven’t seen her for a while at school. After some finding I discover that she is actually an lesbian and was hospitalized due to getting into fight with some girl who are jealous and discriminate her gender, up until graduation I haven’t seen her ever again so I figure she have change school or suffer worse fate. Most of the time I don’t know how thing work in western school but in Japan school prefer to be secretive, they cover up the incident like nothing was happen. This is one of the event that still haunt me up until today.
I failed my entrance exam to the desire university of my parent and they treat me like dirt. In japan they call people like me “浪人”(Ronin) and once everyone know they treat you like you are the stupidest human being around. My disappoint parent call me back to appoint an marriage for me, they want me to inherit the family business. I come back and settle thing once for all, I tell them that I am actually not interest in sex or relationship and I plan to stay in Tokyo to look for work without attend college, I explain to them how I plan to survive in Tokyo and the benefit of not going to college. After some heat arguments my family decide to cut tie with me. This all happen a long time ago and man I was so naive at that time, I haven’t been contact with my family for years. I start to apply for jobs and enter the workforce, I was 18 at the time. In the beginning I work my ass off in convenience store, bars and many places that I don’t want to remember. I was bully any time I brought up I wasn’t interest in relationship and since I was easy to abuse(I was the youngest in the work place), many colleague insult my name and make fun of me anytime they could, I could see that other people are looking at me pitifully but choose to do nothing. Most people I met in real life tend to use me in one way or another, there is no relationship without ulterior motives, I slowly began to distrust people and doesn’t like to deal with them anymore. I cannot thanks god enough now that online working is a things or I will be starve to death. I have been a shut-in for about 8 years, I only go out when it is a must and when I do I feel like my whole body is burning and shivering, I must fully cover face not to feel embarrassed
There are one thing I love-game!As I have zero connections to anyone I tend to spend most of my time investing in playing game, I greatly enjoy beautiful craft story that the maker offer the audience. It has been always a dream of mine to work in the game scene but well reality is harsh. Most people have the misconception that oh you are Japanese it easy lol but the truth is no, I am not ashamed to admit that while I can somewhat handle the background, I cannot draw people at all and most of Japanese artist nowadays are in very high demand(you know for gacha and mobile game company). I desperately finding a job in the scene as an writer or any position at all(Too many I lost count, maybe hundred company or something) and they always kick me out of the door, there is very little startup VN circle in Japan nowadays(mostly in doujin form) because most artist are being traffic and if there were available as I said they don't have any reason to join an startup like me, although you can still see a lot in Comiket but most of them are through real life connection, there is literally no online group to connect with people to make game so my fault for being a hermit I guess . Currently I'm working for an JP-EN translation company and some of my client were actually visual novel dev(Oh to add on this yes there is little VN dev but there is A LOT R-18 dev) and while working on their VN inspiration struck me, I begin to research how VN doing in western and I was surprise that it doing generally well and become increasingly popular nowadays with high demand and such. I try to venture in the western VN scene now that the JP scene are impossible and I have the chance to work on many game jam and meet so many nice people, here another problem arise, since we have absolutely no real life connect it easy to "ghosting"(quit without saying anything) and this has cause many, many of mine project failed. Some stab me in the back and even attempt to scam me(most popular one is you pay and then they just disappear), well at this point in time I'm just done with working with other people. I decided to solos, Needless to said I think everyone has to start from somewhere so I decide to first build an VNs brand first then I can recruit more and more realiable talent, and that here I am. I hope that by making game like this I can increase the community awareness and respect for LGBTQIA+, I have enough of not being able to do anything to help out people like me.
Now about my gender, I am asexual by the book, I feel attractive towards girl in general but mostly in 2D form, I have no desire to have real sexual intercourse or any relationship(I still do what most men do when they are aroused)
**I won’t be more specific about this as I have been a great shame to my family and I highly respect the privacy of each person mention in my story. As I don’t use any social media due to having bad experience the only way I can prove to you is showing my national ID but please understand for me as it is too risky**
**I will try to answer every question but please keep in mind we may live in different time zone so please be patient!**
**Even if I don’t and probably never know who you are, I wish you the best of luck in anything! Remember your existence alone are wonderful and you decide your own value, don’t let others people bring you down!**
**I’m sorry for my bad English, I’m still improving it. Thank You!**
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2021.12.07 05:20 pappuKiMaa_BarDancer Based

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2021.12.07 05:20 bikesniff Orange 5, £995 (Newport, UK)

Orange 5, £995 (Newport, UK) submitted by bikesniff to endurobikesforsaleUK [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 05:20 MrPotassiumCyanide New tank

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2021.12.07 05:20 TrendsWide The £2m bat bridges that don’t work: Scientists say the walkways for flying mammals are ineffective

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2021.12.07 05:20 DaddyHintonational The game certainly is cheap haha

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2021.12.07 05:20 rsbperry Recct’Angl, the Guardian of Emeralds

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2021.12.07 05:20 Which-Painting9830 Improving My Reactions

I last did Judo over thirty years ago. The reason for this a Brain Injury.
Being slammed into the deck, even with a breakfall is painful and gives me concussion. And, thirty odd years later I still want to get on the Judo mat. After over thirty years my reactions are more like a seventy year old. Can anyone suggest of anyways I can sharpen and perfect my reactions? All this done by just standing or minimum of body or leg movement Judo is based on speed and agility, as well as skill, and if I could just get a tiny percentage of what I had then, now I would be chuffed. Thank you
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2021.12.07 05:20 SweatyMorning4 War in Ukraine? NATO expansion drives conflict with Russia

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2021.12.07 05:20 taoreview Kem chong nang Skin Aqua cho da dau

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2021.12.07 05:20 Notelbaxy Eurostar tests facial recognition system on London train station

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2021.12.07 05:20 Necessary_Pain5494 SantaBonk - 7% busd rewards | Chart is mooning | Great planned marketing strategy

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! SantaBonk is the latest BONK token on the Binance Smart Chain. It has a strong community who like to BONK and know how to slurp. Buy SantaBonk and hold to earn BUSD rewards every hour!
Supply 1,000,000,000
LP burnt
10% Tax

Every buy or sell transaction is taxed with a 10% fee., 7% of them are converted to BUSD and reward to holders, 2% is used for marketing. This is very important to increase or holders and new big investors. 1% we are going to use for increase the liquidity and stabilize the price.
With SantaBonk you are going to have huge BUSD rewards, so you is double benefit for you. Just holding if our token makes a x100 you win more!.
Side trivia - the contract ends in "beef". This was purely random and has nothing to do with the contract itself, but that's got to be a good omen!
Contract: 0x3fe191cb269f9beffb241b7e8413761363adaa04
Buy Now: https://pancakeswap.finance/swap?outputCurrency=0x3fe191cb269f9beffb241b7e8413761363adaa04
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Renounced Ownership: https://bscscan.com/token/0x3fe191cb269f9beffb241b7e8413761363adaa04#readContract
With the current hype of BONK tokens, we will aim to provide people the most secure place for them to invest. So here we have gone back to basics, and what we mean by that is - honesty, guaranteeing that you can secure the maximum amount of profit!
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2021.12.07 05:20 rialakhani_ Should i quit my job after one month?

So I just started an internship in a very small company at the start of december, however i have recently received a job offer (internship) in a big 4 company which starts in Jan. I live in UAE and working in a big 4 is basically a job requirement for every other big company, but i’m worried that it’ll damage my reputation in the future as someone who left within a month and had no commitment. No idea what to do please advice.
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2021.12.07 05:20 ashkanbaghaei Nikon d5600 or nikon z50?

I want to buy a camera and start photography but i can't decide between these 2. Which one do you recommend. Say the reason below. Thanks 👍🏻
View Poll
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2021.12.07 05:20 medo_SWE95 Question regarding halo master chief

First time xbox user, decided to give gamepass PC try..
can I only download the full edition, rather than just 1-2 games of the franchise?
if I boot up halo master chief will i be stuck with all halo games on my gamerscore list?
final question, any of the games in particular with a rather easy achievement list but also fun to play?
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2021.12.07 05:20 TrendsWide fifth consecutive win without Ja Morant

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2021.12.07 05:20 salvatoresister are there any fan fictions / stories were caroline and klaus end up together ?

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2021.12.07 05:20 cheesiefry 92 302 coming out of 4wd

with my hubs locked and in 4wd my bronco will come out of gear into neutral (automatic) when i coast or slow down. I can put the shifter into neutral and hit my 4x4 button 2x and it will go back in. this only happens in 4h if I put it in 2h it doesn't happen. I read something in another forum where its the plastic shifting fork inserts wearing out but it could also be the 4x4 shifting motor going out. as I don't want to tear open my tcase if I don't have to does anyone know another remedy.
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2021.12.07 05:20 WhyTheTuck RADIO LIBERTAD! No more government propaganda over the radio waves in today's episode of my walkthrough!

RADIO LIBERTAD! No more government propaganda over the radio waves in today's episode of my walkthrough!
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2021.12.07 05:20 Siri_JJ Router Protocol is a product of the efforts of an experienced and skilled team of professionals. Router is top notch

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2021.12.07 05:20 Worldly_Wear_2097 What made you understand that your friends are fake to you ?

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2021.12.07 05:20 bikesniff Orange 5, £895 (Newport, UK)

Orange 5, £895 (Newport, UK) submitted by bikesniff to endurobikesforsaleUK [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 05:20 TrendsWide The legitimacy of the Electoral Tribunal, at risk

The legitimacy of the Electoral Tribunal, at risk submitted by TrendsWide to TrendsNewsWorld [link] [comments]

2021.12.07 05:20 Gasian_FEH Back here again

I’d like to say that the many friends I made gave me happiness, but I can’t.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in another dorm with friends there but it always seems as if I don’t know them well or do things with them since we’re different dorms. They also seem to have a lot of fun on their own. I introduced my roommate to them and though I’m happy he’s friends with them too, they seem to like him a lot compared to me. They play Magic a lot and bond together. Me? I could hardly converse anything of interest anymore. Despite actively trying to spend time with them longer, my roommate fits just fine. It also doesn’t help that my roommate was offered a place to sleep there as well (not officially, but someone there wasn’t using their room to sleep so he got it). I tried sleeping over because that was a thing we did but I’d sleep alone in the couch in the main lounge as not to bother anybody. That happened 3 times. I don’t know. It just feels a little unfair.
It also doesn’t help my two friends at my own dorm are dating (I had a crush but closeted my feelings because I had a feeling they were coming together). Whenever I try to spend time with them, as much as I want to, I just can’t help but feel sad.
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2021.12.07 05:20 magictalesstudios Solomon's Demons Kickstarter - subscribe now and don't miss our campaign!

Solomon's Demons Kickstarter - subscribe now and don't miss our campaign! submitted by magictalesstudios to Unity2D [link] [comments]